Have I written about this already? I honestly don't remember, but if so ... that's ok.
There's a reason this idea keeps coming around for me, over and over. It's one I need.
And this is going to be a circular narrative, revisiting places until we stop spinning in circles and get further down the road.
"If things aren't working, there may be someone you need to forgive." I had this hand written on a post-it note on my refrigerator for years. I believe I heard it from the teacher Louise Hay.
And I read that note every day for years ... YEARS ... before it finally started to work on me.
I was plagued with writer's block, deep anxiety, paralysis ... and it was ruining my career. Like choking an engine at the starting line of a race, flooding it with gas so it never goes.
Gradually I started to look at the bigger picture. I read a lot of books about abuse and my father. And I started to relax. All of a sudden it didn't seem so important that I insist on not speaking to him. Before, I felt I had to do that -- felt it was vital -- to send myself a message that his abuse was wrong and he wasn't allowed to treat me that way. That I was a whole, important person with boundaries who could decide who was allowed to speak to her and who wasn't.
But through reading these books about abuse and studying spiritual teachers and various healing modalities, I started to understand that by blocking him out of my life, I was blocking myself. Blocking my path forward. Writer's blocking.
If things aren't working, there may be someone you need to forgive.
It works, I promise you. Look deeper.